5 Years Ago Today

5 years ago today my heart was broken, my world was shattered when I received the call from one of my brothers, shortly after 9 a.m. that my father was found dead in his home. I remember the moment like it was yesterday, and the screams that came out of my mouth shortly after. I remember my coworkers helping me gather my things and ushering me out of the office. I remember my tears falling so hard as I was driving home that morning, that I had to pull over and wipe them off. I remember the long drive with my husband to my hometown, crying the entire way, thinking "No, this can't be true. Not my dad".

I remember walking into the house where he had lived for over 37 years and collapsing to the floor praying that somehow this was all a mistake. I remember looking at the spot on the floor where he was found motionless just several hours earlier and wondering if he felt any pain. I remember the sad days that followed, the viewing, the funeral & the burial, where I felt surely my own heart would stop as we laid this man we loved so much to rest.

Today has marked the 5 year anniversary of his death and as I reflect back on the time that has passed and what I have accomplished in my life - I can't help but to think the things that we have missed out on sharing with dad including:

1) Graduation of his oldest grandaughter from college
2) Graduation of 3 of his other nieces from high school & those same 3 nieces entering college
3) Death of his daughter in law, whom he loved so much
4) Marriage of his youngest daughter
5) Birth of his youngest grandson
6) Marriage of hs oldest son

Oh how I wish I could turn back the Calendar and somehow change the events of that sad day. I wish I could see his smiling face again & feel the warmth of his big hugs.

RIP Daddy! We miss you!